


back to the start

by LuckyLittleTurtle



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, What Have I Done, this story is so bittersweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-19
Updated: 2014-04-19
Packaged: 2018-01-19 23:49:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1488733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuckyLittleTurtle/pseuds/LuckyLittleTurtle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve has Bucky back. It might not be his Bucky, but it’s Bucky and Steve’s okay with that.</p><p>Bucky has Steve back. It’s his Steve, who hasn’t changed at all and Bucky loves that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	back to the start

Steve hopes that things can go back to the way they used to be, before the Winter Soldier, before Captain America. When it was just Bucky and Steve against the world. But Steve has learned to accept that fact that going back isn’t an option, and they’re just kind of stuck here.

***

Steve has Bucky back. It might not be _his_ Bucky, but it’s Bucky and Steve’s okay with that.

Bucky has Steve back. It’s _his_ Steve, who hasn’t changed at all and Bucky loves that.

***

They live together now, _of course they do._

Steve has a guest room and that’s where Bucky stays. It’s not like Bucky could have said no anyways, Steve made sure of that.

“C’mon, it’s the least I can do after everything that has happened.” Steve offered, and how could Bucky say no.

 _‘Even though I tried to kill you.’_ Bucky wants to say, but he doesn’t. Bucky isn’t ‘him’ anymore, so he has to learn to let it go. Just like Steve has.

Bucky agrees eventually, _of course he does._ He shoves his bags of whatever he has left into the empty closet, and they call it a day.

Steve’s okay.

Bucky’s okay.

They’re okay.

***

They learn to take baby steps.

Its morning and Steve finds Bucky with his head on the table in the kitchen.

If this was the past, Steve would have been by his side in a heartbeat, but it’s not and Steve doesn’t know what would be considered appropriate behavior after everything they’ve been through.

So, Steve takes a deep breath and slowly approaches him. He walks with caution because he knows what Bucky is capable of achieving when he’s not in his right mind (He almost killed Steve for god sake!).

Bucky was tense, his head hurt, and his eyes felt like they were going to drop out of his skull. Slowly, he brought himself back together when he heard Steve shuffle into the kitchen. Lifting his head up, he looked at Steve with glossy eyes.

“Hmm?” Bucky hummed, bringing his hand, (His hand! Not that shitty robotic one they put on him.) up to scrub over his face.

“You look—Are you okay?” Steve stammered, startled by Bucky’s quick realization of someone else being there with him.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good. Just thinking about…stuff.” He trailed on, looking down and finding his jeans to be very interesting.

“Bucky—“

“No Steve, I’m good. It’s good.” Bucky rattled on, quickly changing the subject. “So what do you have planned today?”

Steve frowned, he didn’t like seeing Bucky like this. He looked so helpless and lost.

“Actually, I was gonna go jogging for a bit… but I can stay if—“

“No, that actually sounds like a great idea Stevie,” Bucky laughed to himself at the nickname. “I’ll get dressed and go with you if you don’t mind?” Maybe a jog and time with Steve was what Bucky needed to be reminded he was going to be okay. It was going to be okay.

“No, it’s fine you can come.”

Five minutes later they leave out the door.

Steve’s heart ached for Bucky.

Bucky’s heart ached for Steve.

***

They start jogging every morning after that. And then they’d come home sweaty and exhausted, fighting over who gets the shower first.

And it reminded Steve about the beginning. When they’d fight and bicker over random things, and Bucky would always win because he was ‘Smarter and stronger’ or so he said, but Bucky never meant any of it. He thought Steve was the smartest guy he’s ever met. Bucky probably still thinks that to this day.

Time bends and stretches on and maybe things can go back to the way they were.

Just maybe.

***

Bucky still has his bad days. Who can blame him? He wishes that things were like they were before. He wonders what their lives would be like if he never fell from that train, or if Steve never got the Serum.

His mind is always Steve. Steve. Steve.

Just like it was before the fall.

***

They become closer overtime, it takes a while but they make it.

It breaks Steve’s heart knowing that Bucky can’t forgive himself for what he’s done, it makes Steve angry about what those people did to Bucky. To _his_ Bucky.

At night Steve wanders into Bucky’s bed and they cuddle and whisper thing to each other that only they can know. Bucky tells Steve about the adventures he used to dream of them having together and Steve tells Bucky about his time alone when Bucky left. And it’s so bittersweet it hurts.

In the day, they become each other’s anchors, soft kisses here and there to reassure them that,

They’re fine.

They’re okay.

They have each other again and nothing is going to tear them apart.

It not might be exactly the way it was before, but it’s pretty damn close.


End file.
